


What Should We Name Our Kids? (The sequel to You've Got Mail)

by Shinhia



Series: Handwritten [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Alive Hale Family, Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Lydia Martin, Cora Hale & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Correspondence, Deputy Derek Hale, Deputy Parrish's Name is Kyle, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hale Family Feels, Human Hale Family, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kyle Parrish finaly punished, Laura Hale & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Laura Hale/Sheriff Stilinski are together, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Nosy Siblings, Other, Past Rape/Non-con, Pen Pals, Romance, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is John, Smut, Stilinski Family Feels, Teacher Stiles, The Hale House, Trust, Wedding, barista!Laura, corydia, getting justice, mechanic!cora, proposal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-03-29 02:04:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3878221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinhia/pseuds/Shinhia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek and Stiles learns to live together as a couple, but the road isn't as calm they'd thought it would be as ghosts of the past and monsters from the present come to haunt them and the people they love. Through those hard times and what life throws at us, they find comfort, love and support in each other. They also learn that when you finally got it, love isn't enough to base your life on, you need more substance and foundations to it, to make it last... </p><p>Come read what will happen for our two men, and be the witness of yet another story of letters written to each other. Letters that they might have made a thing as their friends and family seem to like this ancient -but yet quite new- way of connecting with someone.<br/>This story is also the beginning of other new loves like the one Cora and Lydia found themselves sharing for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Broken

**Author's Note:**

> **Hey there everyone, noooo....you're not dreaming this is really the first chapter to[You've Got Mail'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1944903/chapters/4203228) sequel. I hope you guys will like it.. \o/**  
>     
>  **I can't tell you how excited I am to write for this universe again, and be able to develop the aftermath of the first story for you to enjoy.**
> 
>  
> 
> **A/N: First chapter is directly linked to chapter 13 of You've Got Mail, to what Stiles tells Kyle in that chapter.**

**_(cover by TheShiWolf "me")_ **

**_[This work is the second to my previous story["You've Got Mail"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1944903/chapters/4203228), I suggest you read that one first if you want to be able to follow everything that will happen in this sequel. Also, the picture of Derek and Stiles almost isn't a manip I made, I want it clear so that I won't have people bugging me about it.]_ **

* * *

 

"Stiles?"

"Jared?" Stiles exclaimed, surprised to hear Derek's baby brother. It wasn't often Jared called, the teenager being more into texting than calling. "What's wrong, you seem upset?" He asked having noticed that the young man’s voice sounded quite weird.

"Can you come and pick me up, please? I'm at the train station."

"The train station?"

"Please don't tell Der or the girls."

"Uh, okay." Stiles answered, finding the teenager's behavior odd. "I'm coming."

"Thank you." Jared whispered brokenly, before ending the call.

 

Not losing time, Stiles quickly put on some shoes and a thick hoodie to fight off the little bit of chill the September's nights offered them lately. It's in a rush that he started his car, and left for the train station, which thankfully wasn't that far away from his apartment. A little over ten minutes later, he was pulling in front of the train station, turning off the ignition of his car and rushing inside the building in blur, finding Jared being the only thing clouding his mind at that instant.

 

"JARED!" He called out once he found the teenager hiding in a corner of the station, secluded and in the shadows. "J, what's wrong?"

"Stiles?" Jared babbled with anguish, his face smeared with tears, some new, some traces of older ones he must have shed earlier, Stiles observed.

"Yes. Yes, it's me. I'm here, what's going on, sweetie?" Stiles asked gently, his hand finding the teenager's head to tenderly brush his brown locks, it gutted him to see Jared in such broken state, to see those shadows in his eyes, it was a look he was too scared to put a name on because he knew it all too well. "What's wrong, J?" He asked again with dread in his voice.

"I-I" Jared tried to reply but was unable to as a new stream of tears soaked his cheeks. Stiles heart broke even more to the sight and he didn't know how he managed to stay standing when Jared threw his gangly body in his arms the next minute, breaking down into quiet sobs that Stiles knew the teenager was only holding in and trying to control because they were in a public place.

 

"I got you, sweetie, I got you. It's okay. Let's get outta here, okay. I'm taking you home."

"Yo-your place." Jared said in disjointed words;

"My place, don't worry I wasn't planning on driving over at Der's, you ask me not to involve him or the girls, remember."

"I-I..."

"Shhh, it's okay, don't speak, just try to breathe in and out, okay. I've got you now, you're safe." It's like those last words were enough to triggered new tears, because the next thing Stiles knew he was dragging a shaking teenager out of the train station, receiving some curious stares on his way out to his car. Once there he helped the boy hoped in and quickly went over to the driver's side to start the car.

Jared completely lost it the moment the car started moving, he started to weep in the passenger seat, head hidden in his violently shaking hands. Stiles tried not to pull over and forced himself to just kept driving instead, he tried not turning around and drive to Derek's, as he was certain his lover would know what to do to calm Jared, but he'd made a promise to Jared and he was gonna keep it. Soon enough -even though it seemed like they drove for hours- Stiles pulled over in his usual parking spot, in the garage below his apartment, and turned off the car's engine. He silently climbed out of the car and went to Jared's door. He helped the teen get out of the Jeep slowly, then led them into his apartment where Bruce was waiting for them on the couch a worried look on his kitty's face.

 

“We're home. It's okay, your safe now.” Stiles told the boy gently, “Take off your shoes and jacket, you'll feel better, and go sit on the couch, I'll be over in the kitchen making tea to calm us down. Bruce will keep you company.” Jared was still shaking like a leaf and there was no doubt nothing would calm him down enough, Stiles would need to slip a bit of that herbal mixture Lydia gave him a while back when he was going through a new round of frequent panic attacks, more violent than usual.

"Can...can I take a shower before, please?" Jared asked weakly, feeling too embarrassed to look at Stiles' face.

"Yes, of course. You remember where the bathroom is?" Stiles asked softly, feeling like he would only increase Jared's shaking if he talked louder than he already was. The teen only nodded once, barely meeting Stiles' eyes.

"Go on, I'll bring you some clean clothes."

 

Not waiting any longer, Jared escaped into the bathroom, breath laborious, cold sweat now running down his spine. His reflection in the mirror almost made him throw up the small amount of soda he had in his stomach. The sight of his tears stained face, red swollen eyes, split lip and the darkening bruise over his left cheekbone was enough to awoke a violent wave of anger inside him. His body shook even more violently now, the nausea he'd been feeling until then getting stronger as he suddenly felt like breaking things, like hurting himself for feeling that way. How could have this happened? What had he done to deserve something like this? He felt beyond broken, beyond angry, beyond hurt and everything was too damn overwhelming, so much, he feared he would soon lose it completely. And that feeling, that need to scratch, to just rip apart his skin so he would he relieved of the feeling of being filthy.

 

"Jared?" He heard Stiles' voice call after knocking on the bathroom's door.

Startling violently, Jared stood frozen a short moment, unable to decide if he should open the door or not, but a short glance at his reflection pushed him to act. He couldn't stay like this, couldn't just close himself to everything else, to Stiles the only person he knew he could trust blindly at this very moment, the only person he knew would get him and wouldn't force him into doing anything else than shower, sit down and cry. So he opened the door slowly, meeting the hazel eyes in front him.

"I got you something comfy." Stiles showed, lifting the bundle of wrap clothes he'd brought with him. "Are you alright?" Stiles asked gently, a spark in his expression telling Jared he knew it was a dumb thing to ask but still he was worried enough about the teen's well being to just ask the damn question.

"No." Jared answered, his voice strangely deep, a tone way that was too serious for him Stiles' face seemed to say. "I don't think I'll ever be." He admitted, knowing deep down it was the complete truth. He didn't think he would ever know what being alright felt like, not after what had happened to him tonight.

 

Stiles kept silent, there was nothing he could say that would comfort the boy or sooth his pain, because he knew, he personally knew that somehow Jared wouldn't ever be really alright.

 

"I need you to take pictures." Jared bluntly said, breaking Stiles' reflective moment. He didn't need to ask for Jared to be more specific about what he meant by that, he knew exactly what the boy meant, and them both being son's of cops they knew the drill for these kind of situations, Stiles had been through this process enough times that he also knew exactly how to gathered enough relevant evidence.

Nodding, Stiles placed the clothes onto the cupboard and closed the door behind him. He took out his phone from his pocket, open a new folder and told Jared, "I'll start with your face, and clothes, then..."

The teen just nodded, standing straight in front of Stiles, clearly trying to ignore the fact that his friend was documenting evidences of his assault. Images of the nightmare he'd been through started flooding his mind while Stiles took picture after picture, the memories were so violent that hearing Stiles talk to him made him jump out of his skin:

"I'm gonna need you to take off your clothes now."

Shaking, Jared did as told, feeling beyond ashamed and dirty. He was so fucking exposed to Stiles' gaze, no matter how the young man tried to give him all the privacy he could knowing he still had to look where on Jared's body there was bruises or worse.

Stiles still took the pictures as quickly as he could to make it a, somewhat, less invasive experience.

 

"I know how you must feel right now, but I still need to ask if there was any...penetration?" Stiles whispered, blushing with unease. He felt almost as bad as Jared, even though he'd never had to live what the teenager was living now because he'd been way too scared to talk or ask anyone for help the each time Kyle had raped him, he just managed to take just enough pictures back then as some insurance if he ever get the gut to ever stand up for himself but it all had been pointless as he'd never talked to anyone about what he was living with his ex, not even now even though they were through and he could finally have the law on his side to make up for what the blond deputy had done to him. But what good would it do, he thought, and wouldn't that mean risking Derek knowing about that part of his past and then risk losing the man after he found out.

"Th-there was...yes..." Jared whispered, voice vibrating with shame. "He...he..." He tried to add, but was unable to find the words to explain what had happened to Stiles.

"You don't have to talk, just nod to answer, okay." Stiles told him in a reassuring voice. "Was there use of a condom?" He asked, afraid to know the answer, and his blood froze when he saw new tears rush down the boy's cheek as he shook his head _'no'_.

"Okay. Okay." He said, placing his phone back inside his pocket. "You know that we should go to the hospital then..."

"NO! Not the hospital, please!" Jared cried out, looking frightened. "They would have to call Derek and I just...I just... I can't face him, I can't, I'm...I'm too"

"Hey. Okay. It's okay, calm down, Jay, calm down." Stiles exclaimed taking the boy in his arms, and held him tightly until he felt Jared calmed down, his shaking almost disappearing. His brain was going a mile a minute, trying to figure out what to do to avoid going to the hospital and yet still gather the physical evidence he knew were still on Jared and would only be wash away by the shower.

"Jared, listen to me," Stiles started saying, "here's what we're gonna do. I won't drive you the hospital which won't involve Derek for now, but I still need to gather the physical evidence left on you. I know it's degrading and what I'm asking of you is putting you through hell, but we need to do this, you understand?" Jared nodded slowly, face contorted with a mix of pain and fear. He watched as Stiles went though the medicine cabinet under the sink and got out an evidence kit. Jared didn't asked why Stiles had an evidence kit laying around his house nor did he ask what it was for nor did Stiles had to explain what Jared needed to do with it, he just left the kit on the side of the sink and left the room, leaving Jared the space and privacy be needed to go through this last step before he could finally shower.

 

Hands shaking and feeling out of breath, Jared extended his hand toward the clear box, opened it and replace it on the sink, then grabbed the long encased Q-Tips, uncapped some of them and swipe them over himself so that they would have the DNA they needed to work as evidence against that.. _monster_. He silently cried the all time he had to swipe the cotton head tips over and inside his intimacy but he still went through it, then placed them inside to box, closed the lid and gave it with his folded underwear to Stiles through the door he slid open halfway, then closed the door once again, opened the shower taps and slid under the water, heart pounding in chest, so strongly it hurt. Finally. Finally he could wash off the dirt from his skin.

*

 

Fighting against the urge of calling Derek or his dad without having Jared's approval, Stiles passed the floor of his living room like a lion in a cage. After some times of that passing, he decided to go in the kitchen and make something to eat, he felt like stress eating something filling and thought it wouldn't hurt Jared to eat something too.

Bruce, his kitty, followed him to the kitchen still looking worried, often throwing glances at the bathroom's door, his ears twitching every now and then, in a way that indicated he might be hearing cries coming from the room. Not feeling like starting something that would be too long to cook, Stiles took the plate of leftovers Parmesan eggplants Derek had cook for them the night before. He quickly grilled bread to accompany their plate and took out ham from the fridge too, that would do it for tonight.

He heard Jared come out of the bathroom a bit after he placed their plates on a big tray, containing the ham and bread each on a single plate placed next to the eggplants bigger plate in the middle of the tray.

 

"Just in time." Stiles said, smiling, "let's eat, you need a big of something inside you."

"I don't think I ca..."

"I won't take any _'I'm not hungry'_ speech, so you're gonna sit down and eat, Jared. You need strength for tomorrow. I won't ask you to tell me what happened in details tonight, you've went through enough already. But tomorrow, we're gonna see my dad, you need to make a statement, the guy that didn't this to you needs to be punish. At least face justice for his actions, as me going after him and breaking his bones one by one isn't gonna be helpful in any way."

Jared chuckled softly surprising Stiles in the process, but a look at the boy's face and Stiles understood what must have been funny.

"You're less violent than Derek or anyone else would be in my family that's for sure, I know that if I've went to Der first he would have drove all the way to Berkley and kill, Mar...him."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't want to see my boyfriend end up in jail because of some asshole." Stiles growled, rage still roaring in his stomach, but trying to keep it inside instead of letting it out and maybe scare Jared even more than he already was. "That doesn't mean I wouldn’t love lending him a hand, but not a good idea. Now, eat, please, you'll feel a bit more like yourself once you're done, trust me."

Hesitant, Jared dared asking a question he'd always wanted to ask Stiles, and now was the perfect time for it.

"It was him, isn't it, Kyle? He...he did this to you, too? That's why you knew instantly when you saw me at the train station."

 

Stiles kept silent a long moment, his body very still, looking like maybe he hadn't heard Jared talking. But then he let out a long, burdened, sigh escape him;

 

“I was young and in love, I would have done anything for him. I just never suspected what a horrible person he really was.” Stiles said softly, looking lost in the past. “It started slowly...the abuse. It wasn't really anything at first, just a few insults here and there, some small words like _'stupid'_ or _'you're so dumb'_ , it was just small words but they hurt me deeply enough, which was probably why he used them. I thought that his outbursts were just because his work wasn't always easy, you know, that he'd might have had a bad day and that somehow I'd pissed him off by acting stupid or dumb. But it escalated slowly, there would be more insults, more often, until one slap one day. He would come home drunk, smelling like cigarette and cheap perfume, I tried to ignore it, tried not to say anything, because the only time I'd dared asking him for an explanation was the first time he hit me. Kyle was very clever though, he knew exactly how to twist every situation so that I would think I was the one at fault, that I'd provoked him and that's why he was behaving like that with me. Then one night he came home later than usual, drunk like usual but I could tell he was also under the influence of something else like drugs maybe. That's the first time he raped me.”

“I can still remember feeling scared the moment he stepped into our apartment, the fright increasing the closer he got to our bedroom, I don't know why or how but I knew something bad would happen if I didn't get out of there. But I was too stuck to move a limb. That's when he..he stumbled into the bedroom. He looked terrifying, and I think that's the first time I felt really scared of him, scared of what he could do to me. Scared of how far he could go. I thought maybe he would just hit me like he gotten used to do, but I didn't thought...didn't imagine there'd be worse than being hit by your boyfriend. I don't know how it happened, it was too fast but one moment he was standing in the door and the next he was on top of me using his weight to trap me under him and keep me from moving. I begged him to let me go, to just leave me alone. Told him he wasn't thinking clearly because of the booze but nothing I could say could go through his mind, and the more I cried, the more I tried to break free and begged him to stop the more aroused he got. After that, it's all glimpses of him hitting me, turning me around so I was face down on the mattress, his hand holding my wrists together, the sound fabric breaking apart, his heavy breathing that smelled like beer and vodka, and then the pain...that violent, extreme pain that lasted forever and only got worse with each one of his thrust inside of me. I can't remember when I blacked out, just that when I finally woke up it was daylight outside and Kyle had sobered down, he didn't apologize, just said: _"Let it be clear, you're mine, I can do and dispose of you, of your body anytime I want. You're my slut, Sweetheart."_

 

By then, Stiles was silently crying, his face hidden in his hands, shoulder shaking, Jared tried to put a comforting hand on his shoulder but that only made the young man startled violently.

 

"Stiles..."

"I lived that nightmare for two more years, kept my mouth shut because I knew it would be his words against mine, that no cop would believe me, it was just acquaintance rape after all, and I was in a gay relationship with the man, so who would ever believe me. And I was also so damn scared of what he could do to me if I ever told anyone and he found out about it. I thought when he proposed that he'd really changed like he said he did but there again I was so fucking naive to ever believe him, to even put the slightest bit of trust in him. Him humiliating me by leaving me a week before the wedding was the last straw. It took me so long to rebuild myself, so, so long."

"Did you ever told anyone about this, ever since you and him broke up? Your dad? Lydia? Anyone?" Jared asked gently, his hand now caressing Stiles' back in a soothing gesture.

Stiles laughed bitterly, shaking his head, "No, no one. Not even Derek. I was too ashamed, I felt so dirty, less than a human and I guess Kyle's words really got through me because I was so sure no one would ever believe me, not even my dad. You're the first person I talked to about this. That's why..." Stiles explained, "That’s why I knew. The moment you looked at me at the train station, I knew, because that look in your eyes...that look I know too much. I've seen it on my face way too many times not to recognize it."

"You could still press charges, Stiles. I'm sure Derek or your dad would believe you, you could get justice and that asshole would finally face the law. He can't stay unpunished for all the things he did to you."

"And what good would it do, Jared? He's out of my life now, and I have the most incredible man in my life. I don't want to ruin what I have with Derek. He knows for the most part, but if he knew about this then..."

"What? No, Derek loves you..."

"You don't know that. I'm scared of how he'd look at me if he learned how dirty I really am." Stiles admitted in a whisper. It was the truth, he was indeed scared that if Derek found out about that part of his past he would stop looking at him like he was doing now, like Stiles was something to be cherish and an equal to him, and what Stiles fear the most was for Derek to one day start to look at him with pity. That was something Stiles wouldn't be able to bear. Derek was the last person he needed to look at him like some broken thing that couldn't be fixed. Because, in total honesty, Stiles was lucid enough to know some things just couldn't be fixed, some things you just had to leave as they were and not try to put them back together. He was one of those things, shattered by his past but unable to be put back together. It was pointless to even try and all you could do was accept what was left of what he once was.

“Do you think I'm dirty?” Jared asked Stiles, very seriously. The question took him by surprise and for an instant, Stiles kept silent, only looking blankly at Jared's face.

“What? Of course not, why would you think that? You're not dirty, Jared, the guy that did this to you, he's the one that's dirty.” Stiles said, grabbing the teen's hand.

“Then why do you think Derek would look at you like you're dirty because of something that was done to you against your will. That's not him, he would never act like that, that goes against his true nature, Stiles.” Jared exclaimed forcefully, intent on making his point be heard by Stiles.

 

Stiles froze, Jared couldn't be more true, and deep down Stiles knew the boy was right, that Derek would never act like Stiles feared he would because it was simply impossible for a man like Derek to act as such. It was his nature, but a part of him, a part still soaked with his past, a part so used of being afraid, of being abused, of not trusting anyone, well that part could be very loud at times, and on this matter it was like Stiles couldn't do anything else but listen to that part of him shout _'What ifs'_ and _'Are you really willing to test your relationship with Derek so soon?'_. And now that Jared had exposed the facts as they really were, Stiles didn't know what to do or think anymore.

 

“I know Derek is a very good man, Jared. Incredible, in my opinion. But right now, I don't know if....I'm simply not ready to test our relationship by telling him all I just told you, because I know, deep down, I know even if we think it won't, it will inevitably change something between us. We're still so new, I can't let us go there just yet.”

“I understand.” Jared whispered, looking far away. “I do get how you feel, but will you ever tell him, be completely honest and trust him with that secret that's burdening you?” The teen asked, conscious that talking with Stiles was helping him a great lot not thinking about what had happened to him that night.

“I will, yes. When I feel I'm ready, I will tell him everything that's left to say, but right now... Right now, what matter is you, nothing else.” Stiles answered, stroking the teen's cheekbone like a brother would do.

“Finish your plate and drink your tea, okay, then we'll go to sleep.”

“Okay.” Jared replied, grabbing his plate and filling it with eggplants. “Are these Derek's?”

“Yeah, he won't let me near the kitchen when he's here.” Stiles said, looking amused by his boyfriend's behavior.

“I bet he does.” Jared chuckled, taking a bite of the food. He didn't really felt like eating but after the two or three first bites his appetite opened up and he suddenly was starving.

Stiles watched as Jared devoured his plate then helped himself to a second serving of eggplants. It was reassuring to see the boy let go just for that short moment, something he clearly was in deep need of. They drank their tea in silent, Jared making a face to the weird after taste of his own cup, Stiles chuckled and told him it was because it was spiked with Sedinal, some medicinal herbs mixture that would help him relax enough to get a full night of sleep, he would need it for the next days to come.

“Thank you.” Jared told him before they fell asleep, Bruce rolled up in the teens arms, guarding him for the night. “Thank you for what you did tonight, Stiles, for being there for me.”

“It was nothing, I will always be there for you.” Stiles told him gently as he watched Jared slip into unconsciousness.

*

 

 

The following weeks were the hardest for Jared, but also for his family when they learned about what had happened to their youngest. Stiles accompanied the teenager every step of the way, starting by driving him to the police station the morning after Jared phone call.

There, they were received by Stiles' dad, the older man personally took Jared's complaint and handled him with great respect and attention, leaving to his son the task of informing Derek of what was going on when the man saw his baby brother and boyfriend come into the police station and be taken to the sheriff's office.

 

“I'm gonna talk with Derek, while you make your statement to my dad, is that alright?” Stiles asked Jared before leaving the office to go find Derek at his desk. The teenager nodded in answer, then shyly asked,

“Will you tell him?”

“Do you want me to?” Stiles asked back, leaving the decision to tell Derek up to Jared.

“Yes. I.. Could you, please?”

“Of course. Anything.”

“I just... I don't think I can be the one to tell him, I'm not strong enough.”

“Okay, don't worry. Just tell my dad what you can and I'll deal with Derek. I'll be just outside.”

“Thank you.”

“Always, buddy.” Stiles said before leaving the office.

 

He went directly towards Derek desk and grabbed the man's hand, leading him to one of the unoccupied office, not leaving the older man the time to say anything. It's only when they were in the office and Stiles had closed the door behind them that Derek talked,

 

“Stiles, what's going on? Why is Jared with your dad? And why the hell is his face so bruised?”

 

_Damn, he really is a cop!_ Stiles thought, a short glimpse at his brother and Derek had noticed all of that already. Sighing, he made his lover sit down and then took the seat next to him, he figured it would be better for his boyfriend to be seated for what he had to tell him.

 

“What I have to tell you isn't gonna be easy to hear, nor is it easy for me to tell, but Jared asked me to so don't blame him, please, he really isn't in a place right now where he can face you or anyone from your family with what happened.”

“You're scaring me, Stiles. What's going on?” Derek asked, looking about to jump out of his chair any minute now

“Calm down. Please. Calm down.” Stiles asked him softly, he didn't feel comfortable being in the messenger's shoes, not when it came to something so serious, so important. And honestly, everything was just really too damn close from home for him and anything could make him break down too.

“I'm sorry.” Derek told him noticing that his outburst had troubled the younger man. Bending over, he grabbed onto the younger man's hands. “I'm listening, please, tell me.”

“Last night, a while after you left my place I received a call, it was Jared. He sounded scared and like he was crying. I asked him what was wrong but he just asked me to come and pick him up from the train station but not to call you or the girls, he sounded so broken that I agreed and just drove there as quickly as I could, when I arrived and found him, I knew with a glance that something really bad had happened and when he looked at me I just... I knew. We drove back to my place, him crying all the way from the station to my apartment. When we got home he asked me if he could take a shower and again begged me to not call you, he said he really couldn't face you. I didn't bothered him, just told him to go shower while I was looking for some clothes he could wear. Later, when I knocked onto the bathroom door to give him the clothes, he opened the door and asked me to take pictures, that confirmed what I already knew had happened. I suggested we go to the hospital for a better check up, but he completely lost it, said he couldn't go there, that they would call you and he wasn't able to face neither of you or Laura and Cora.”

Stiles felt Derek's hands tightened around his the more he was relating what had happened the night before.

“I explained how we needed the physical evidence that would help us get the DNA of the guy that...” Stiles gulped, difficultly. The look of pure fright and rage now clouding Derek's face making it even more difficult for him to talk. “H-he was raped, Derek.”

 

Derek sat very still after hearing those words, his gaze darkening terribly, his fists closed in tight balls on his lap, knuckles white.

 

“He agreed to coming in today and make his statement with my dad and asked me to tell you everything.” Stiles added, before slipping out of his chair to kneel in front of his lover. “Derek? Baby, can you hear me?” He asked, worried by Derek's lack of reactions. It's only when he took the man's face into his hands that Derek seemed to come back into the room with Stiles.

“I...I... Oh my god!” Derek suddenly said. “Jared, he...I... Stiles?”

“I'm here, I'm right here baby, it's gonna be okay, Jared's gonna be okay.” Stiles whispered, wrapping his arms around Derek to support him. Feeling this very strong man shaking like a leaf against him was maybe what made him lose his straight face and made the tears he'd been holding in, since the previous night, fall freely on his cheeks. “He's gonna need us to be strong for him, to support him through this. He's gonna need his big brother to show him it's gonna be okay and that he's not alone.”

“I know, I know, I'm sorry.” Derek whispered, his voice muffled by Stiles' shoulder. “You're right, I'm sorry. I have to be strong for, J.”

“Yes, but you're also allowed to let your emotions and let yourself go when we're just together like this. I'm here for you, alright. For better and worse, I'm here with you.”

“Thank you. And thank you for being there for Jared last night, I...thank you.”

“Like I told him last night, I will always be there for him, anytime he needs me, I'll be there. I love him like the baby bro I've never had you know.”

“I know you do.”“Do you feel like we can go back out there and see what my dad and Jared are doing?”

“Yeah.” Derek answered his voice deeper than usual. “Yeah, I need to see him. But, wait a minute...” He said, stopping Stiles from getting away from him. His lover turned around, looking at him with curiosity. “What did you mean?”

“What?” Stiles said.

“When you said that when you look at Jay you just knew what had happened. How could you know?” Derek asked him calmly, his gaze boring into Stiles, like he would get the answer he was looking for like that.

“Nothing special, really.” Stiles said, hoping Derek wouldn't get he was lying, which, knowing his boyfriend, he highly doubt Derek would ignore. “I just understood something really bad had happened and the bruises on his face told me as much.” He added, forcing himself to keep looking at his boyfriend, even though guilt was already eating at him as, once again, he'd lied to the man about himself.

Derek didn't reply or called Stiles on his lie, but the look he had in his eyes and the way he held himself indicated he wouldn't just forget about this conversation and Stiles' omission, that he would bring up the subject again when Stiles least expected it.

 

“Let's go see my brother.”

* * *

 

_“Oh, look who’s here. If_ _it_ _isn’t my favorite boy-toy!” Parrish slurred viciously, when he_ _snuck_ _into the_ _restroom after_ _Stiles._

_*_

 

_Stiles startled when he heard that voice behind him._ _He, instantly,_ _felt like someone had pushed him under a freezing_ _cold_ _shower when_ _his gaze_ _met_ _a pair of_ _blue eyes he used to love so much_ _, in the_ _mirror._

 

_Painfully, he_ _forced himself_ _to control_ _his breathing and slow_ _his racing heartbeat,_ _as_ _he knew_ _exactly_ _what Kyle was trying to do._ _It'd took him time but he'd_ _finally understood_ _the trick_ _Kyle Parrish_ _had always used_ _, and almost always succeeded_ _with_ _, but tonight was different. Tonight_ _,_ _Stiles_ _was different, and there was no way Kyle Parrish was_ _ever_ _going to_ _have_ _even a_ _tiny bit of control over him_ _!_

_Today_ _,_ _Stiles Stilinski was_ _a new_ _man_ _._ _H_ _e’d spent_ _the past few months_ _painfully_ _re_ _building himself_ _,_ _and he wasn't going to give_ _Kyle Parrish the satisfaction of breaking him_ _again_ _._ _This is why he first_ _took the time to dry his hands, enjoying watching Kyle get pissed by the little impact his presence seemed to cause_ _on_ _his ex-fiancé._

_Finally, once his hands were completely dried,_ _Stiles turned_ _around_ _to face the man_ _, and as_ _he_ _looked at him,_ _he noticed that for the first time since_ _he’d known_ _him, Kyle Parrish wasn’t_ _the least bit_ _physically_ _attractive to him_ _anymore. He’d_ _seen_ _the true face hidden behind the mask_ _the_ _jerk wore every day, and_ _even_ _though_ _Kyle_ _was still one of the hottest men Stiles_ _had_ _ever_ _laid_ _eyes on_ _,_ _and_ _gotten_ _intimate with_ _,_ _the ugliness of his personality was enough to make him look_ _hideous_ _in_ _Stiles’ eyes._

 

_“Good evening, Kyle._ _Did_ _you want_ _something_ _?” Stiles asked with more cockiness_ _than_ _he really felt._

_“Good evening? Is that how you_ _greet_ _me after so long,_ _Sweetheart_ _? Don’t I even get a little kiss?” Kyle said, coming closer to Stiles, trapping him between his hips and the sink._

 

_Breathing in_ _slowly_ _, Stiles_ _tried to stay strong, Derek’s voice resonating in his mind like a mantra, encouraging him, telling him that he was strong, stronger than Kyle Parrish, and that only_ _he_ _could take_ _the_ _last step and put_ _an end_ _to a year_ _made_ _of pain and sorrow, of heartache and tears_ _, of nights after nights filled with endless nightmare of all he'd lived with Kyle_ _. And that was enough to give Stiles the_ _strength_ _needed to keep looking into his ex’s eyes_ _;_

 

_“A kiss?” He heard himself_ _mock_ _. “_ _I find it hilarious_ _you_ _think_ _that would ever happen_ _again_ _? You really_ _think_ _I would stoop_ _so_ _low? For you?” Stiles_ _said_ _, voice_ _filled_ _with sarcasm, something he knew Kyle had always hated above anything else_ _about_ _him._

_“_ _L_ _isten to you_ _..._ _So_ _bold_ _and sarcastic. Is sucking a new cock_ _making_ _you_ _feel brave_ _, honey_ _? Are you his ‘brave little bitch’_ _now_ _?_ _” The blond spit out, looking_ _angry_ _that_ _Stiles_ _was standing up to him_ _and wasn't_ _taking any of_ _his shit anymore._

_“Now, now_ _,_ _Kyle, why_ _are you_ _being so mean? What? I’m not as gullible and bendable as you_ _like me_ _? Is that what’s making you so impolite?”_

_“Listen to me, you little shit...”_

_“NO!!!” Stiles_ _cut him_ _loudly, pushing the man away from him and freeing himself from the cold sink_ _._ _“You’re the one that’s gonna listen,_ _Asshole_ _. You thought I wouldn’t_ _figure out_ _what you did? That you could come back here and I would naively fall into your arms again, after everything you’ve done to me_ _?_ _”_

_“Oh, Sweetheart...”_

_“Shut the fuck up! Don’t you_ _**dare** _ _Sweetheart me_ _. I’m not as naive and fragile as I was before. This_ _is_ _the_ _one_ _bet_ _you are going to LOSE_ _.”_

_At that word, Kyle_ _seem_ _ed_ _to freeze in place,_ _eyes_ _as_ _big as saucers._

_“Yeah, that’s right, I know about that._ _” Stiles spit out,_ _“I know about everything. Everything you’ve_ _planned_ _with those two pigs you call friends. You might have_ _tricked_ _another pretty face, but you won’t_ _fool me_ _anymore. I know you_ _._ _I know how ugly and abusive you truly are._ _” He added before going on,_

_“_ _My_ _dad_ _was real interested in learning_ _about your sick little games tonight_ _-honestly, you’re lucky you’re not dead- so_ _this is_ _how things are gonna go_ _, Kyle_ _... If_ _you care about your job_ _at all,_ _you will leave this party, you will leave the county,_ _and_ _you will get_ _the fuck_ _out of my life once and for all_ _. Go_ _live your_ _very_ _fake life with that very fake husband of yours_ _, far away from me._ _”_

_“Or what?”_

_“Or...I know people, Kyle,_ _people who_ _will_ _make sure you’re found guilty for all the things you’ve done to me. I think we’ll start with_ _rape_ _charges_ _.”_

_“Rape?_ _!_ _” Kyle repeated, looking as white as the tiles covering the walls behind Stiles._ _Surely Stiles wouldn't, he thought._

_“Yes_ _, rape_ _. That’s what_ _you_ _did_ _every time you put your disgusting hands on me while you faked being interested in me._ _All those times you took without asking or cared as I was begging you to stop.” The young man managed to say, voice thick with pain and fear of that horrible part of his past he could never forget. “_ _You managed to trick me so beautifully, I have to admit, but all the time it was just abuse, all the time it was_ _you raping me, not just when you'd get home drunk and would force yourself onto me. I've kept my mouth shut all this time but not anymore,_ _after all, I’m the sheriff’s kid, right_ _?_ _Who would_ _not_ _believe me?”_

 

_Kyle started distancing himself from Stiles, the look on his face speaking for him, telling the young man everything the older man wasn’t capable of saying. Feeling overly confiden_ _t-something he never really felt next to Kyle-,_ _Stiles took a few steps towards the man until he was close enough to whisper in his ear,_

_“_ _You’re_ _**dead** _ _to me.”_

* * *

 

 

It was maybe a month after Jared had called for his help, -he'd accompanied the teenager at the police station to make his statement and then for Jared rapist to be arrested and judged-, that Stiles felt something change in him.

They were staying at his place that night, Derek and him, it had been one of those trying day, where you feel like nothing was going your way. But to be honest, Stiles had been feeling antsy and weird for a few days now, but he was unable to say or put his finger on what was bothering him. The only thing he was sure of was that for the past week he hadn't been able to think of something else than his last encounter with Kyle Parrish and his talk with Jared where he'd admitted being a victim of rape too. It's only after Derek confronted him about it that Stiles finally felt like now was the time to talk to his lover.

They were both comfortably stuck in the couch, fresh from a long shower for Stiles, when Derek's voice resonated, troubling the silence that'd been filling the room until then.

 

"Baby, is there something wrong?" He asked gently, his fingers tracing doodles over Stiles' naked forearm.

"Why the question?" Stiles replied, trying to act as if he didn't exactly know what Derek meant.

"You've seemed...off for days now. Your mood isn't the same, more changing and you've been distant too. Both mentally and physically. I can't help but feel like something is bothering you and you just won't tell me what's going on."

 

Should he feel like Derek had somewhat cornered him and the only thing Stiles could do now was come clean and tell his lover everything he hadn't told him, or should he be relieved that Derek had brought up the subject, giving him the opportunity to finally get rid of the burden that was weighting on his heart and soul? Stiles didn't really knew what he should be feeling at that very moment, but what he was sure of was that he needed to just tell Derek. Watching the man act with his little brother during this past month had comforted Stiles into trusting his lover with his darkest, deepest secret, because he knew, he just knew Derek would only be there and support him more than he already was doing after Stiles confessed what he'd been keeping from the older man.

 

"Stiles?" Derek asked softly, when the younger man broke out of his embrace and slid away on the couch, leaving some space between them.

"We need to talk." Stiles simply said, unable to look at Derek's face. A behavior that worried the older man greatly, was Stiles about to break up with him? Was this what the young man wanted them to talk about? Was this what had been bothering Stiles this past weeks, but he hadn't know how to tell Derek? What was going on?

"First, you have to know that I fully trust you, Derek. I'm not kidding when I say this; I would trust you with my life, that's how much faith I have in you.” Stiles explained cheeks red. “Nevertheless, even when you have so much faith in someone, that you trust them like I trust you, there's sometimes things you just can't tell them for multiple reasons." He added fidgeting with his fingers as he talked. "There's things I didn't tell you or that I couldn't talked about with you and kept secret this all time because I was really scared that if I did tell you then everything would change. You'd start looking at me differently or worse decide to leave me and I just... I just couldn't risk that, Derek."

The vibrant emotions in Stiles' voice were too much for Derek so he moved closer, closing the gap between them. Staying far away, when his lover was so obviously hurting, was just too much to bear for Derek.

"I would never do that, baby. No matter what you could tell me about you, I would never leave you." Derek said softly, trying to reassure Stiles on something that he thought the younger man had understood a long time ago when they'd gotten together.

"I know, I know.” Stiles whispered, “I think I've always knew that, but there was this part of me that just wouldn't shut up and kept telling me otherwise. I was just so scared, and we're still so new." Lifting his legs, he put his feet on the couch, folding his knees against his body.

 

Stiles held onto himself like he would a life-belt. He felt his body starting to shake but he couldn't control it this time, and feeling Derek hold him close didn't help calm him down either.

"When I was with...Kyle, worst things happened than what I told you before.” He started saying, “You remember when I told you that the first time we slept together he didn't really cared about how I felt about it?”

Derek nodded yes, a roar of anger invading him at the mention of how much an asshole Stiles' ex had been.

"Well it happened quite a few times. I thought that maybe it was normal, that because we were boyfriends it was just expected he would wanna have sex with me anytime and no matter what I could say about it. I thought it was normal between guys that your partner wouldn't pay extra attention to your pleasure or if you were hurting. I mean, it's not like I had that much experience, Kyle was my first so I thought that was quite normal, especially with someone older. I was so young and naive back then, and so sickeningly in love with him. I really thought he loved me just as much. But then the verbal abuse started, and the hits a bit after that, until one night he came home very drunk and drugged too I think. I don't know why but the moment I heard the key in the front door's lock I suddenly fear something bad was gonna happen. I tried to avoid him, to talk to him so that he would just leave me alone and we could go to sleep, but there was something in his eyes, a weird and frightening light that paralyzed me. He was suddenly so terrifying and I just couldn't move or escape. I should. I should have fled. Should have at least tried. I don't how or when but it's like he was all over me all of a sudden, my mind didn't really registered everything that happened, because it just went so fast, I only know that my clothes were suddenly being torn apart, the fabric doing that horrible sound when the seams break, then there's was pain from a few blow to my head and then..."

"...then what I felt, the pain that tore my body apart was the most horrible and violent pain I'd ever felt. I screamed, cried for him to stop, begged him, tried to move away even though he was restraining me under his weight and holding my hands above my head so I was trapped. Nothing got through him, he just kept...going. It felt like it lasted forever, I felt like the nightmare would never end, and the longer it lasted, the stronger was the pain. It's only when he reached climax that he let me go. Pushed me away in the bed and then fell asleep. My body, my mind broke in a way they could never recover or heal. The next day, he cornered me and told me to shut up about it, that I was his so that meant he could do anything to me and with me, anytime he felt or wanted to. He also said that he was a cop, that no one would ever believe me if I ever decided to open my mouth, it would be my words against his and he knew who would win. I was too scared so I shut up. I feared what he could do to me if I ever talked to anyone. He didn't stop at that one time, he raped me multiple times after that, every time he came home drunk or just felt like having sex he would take what he wanted no matter how hard I cry or how much I begged him to stop, begged him not to hurt me anymore. He never listened, just laughed it off and told me to fucking shut up and take it like a damn man. He stop completely a bit before proposing to me, I don't know why but I thought back then that maybe he'd changed, that he'd understood and saw how much he'd hurt me. I really wanted to believe we could move on, you know, that everything would be fine now and different, but I was mistaken again. He only let me believe he'd changed so that he could hurt me even more by leaving me for someone else a week before our wedding.” Stiles whispered, ending there his speech. Tears were running down his cheeks, and he was still shaking like a leaf but he felt so relieved at the same time now that Derek knew. So free from that awful secret he'd kept for so long.

"I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you, I lied to you by keeping all this to myself, but I was so damn scared I would lose you. I thought..." Stiles mumbled quietly, "I thought that if you knew how dirty I am that you would leave me. It was a certainty for me that you would be disgusted and wouldn't ever wanna touch me, so I shut up and kept it all locked up inside hoping you wouldn't ever find out. But that was until Jared call for my help and ask me why I knew exactly what to do in such a situation and also how I knew just by looking at him. I told him everything and even why I'd hidden this from you, he told me you would never leave me or think of me as dirty because it just wasn't in your nature to do so and I guess I wanted to believe him, believe in you even though I still wasn't ready to tell you." Stiles admitted, lifting his face from his knees to look at Derek, searching something in the man's face that would prove the annoying voice inside him he'd been right to keep silent, that he just made the biggest mistake by telling Derek. What he found on his lover face was so different than what he'd expected to find though. Compassion, pain, anger, unshed tears and love were the only things Stiles could read on Derek's face, could see shining in the man's eyes, and that sight... That sight was enough to make him shed even more tears than he'd already shed that night, not because he hurt but because he was in a relationship with a man that truly loved him, no matter his past, no matter how marked he was.

"Why did you talk to me tonight?" Derek asked him gently, his thumbs drying Stiles' tears.

"I-I...because of how you-you've handled things with Jared. You were there every step of the way for him, supported him day and night and you never pitied him, never belittled him as just a sexually abused victim. It made me think, made me see things under a new light for me and slowly the need to tell you was the strongest." Stiles confessed softly, inching closer to his boyfriend.

"I'm glad you finally felt you could talk to me about it." Derek told him, kissing Stiles' forehead lovingly. "Thank you for trusting me, baby."

"No," Stiles exclaimed, pushing Derek away from him, "thank you! Thank you for loving me and understanding. Thank you."

"I love you." Derek whispered, bending over to kiss Stiles gently. "I love you so much, Stiles."

 

Maybe it was how sweet the kiss was or how gentle and caring Derek was with him. Or maybe it was just the tension finally breaking free from his body and heart. Stiles didn't really know what or why but he suddenly lost it completely, breaking down into deep, loud sobs in Derek's strong arms. He felt devastated and yet free at the same time now that there wasn't any more secrets between them, but still he couldn't help wonder if he would ever really get closure one day, if he could -in the future- ever honestly say he was fine, that he'd got closure and everything was put behind him. He didn't know, didn't have the answer to this question, he could just hope he would be able to forget or more like not feel anymore like he felt today.


	2. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Aaaand....here it is! Chapter two, my darlings.**   
>  **Hope you'll like. Enjoy!**   
>  **xoxo**   
>  **Sin.**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **  
> **  
> Please, note that this chapter, as well as the rest of my story, is completely fictional, I never went through things like filling a complaint or making a statement/testimony, so for the more justice/law/police situation part I had to go with my imagination and what I saw in movies and TV shows. I feel like it's important to point out as I know some of you won't forget to tell me how it's not the reality, that it doesn't happen like that in real life, and so on, through comments.  
> 

Derek lay awake, gazing at the ceiling’s curves and edges, his eyes caught the shadows that the trees -lit by the moonlight- outside casted over the ceiling and walls surfaces. Stiles was sleeping soundly next to him, and like almost every other nights since he'd learn Stiles' biggest secret, Derek just couldn't find sleep and often lay awake like he was doing now, overwhelmed by rage and the crushing need to get in his car, drive over to Kyle Parrish's house and just fucking beat the man into a pulp until he couldn't breathe anymore. That's what the asshole deserved after what he did to Stiles, but of course that would only be a reality if Derek got to be prosecutor, judge and executioner.

As much as he wished he just could act as his guts were yelling at him to do, Derek knew there was nothing he could do to Kyle Parrish. The most obvious reasons being that if he provoked the man, he'd risk him coming at Stiles for retaliation or if Derek had his way with the man, he'd risk ending up in jail for abduction, torture, starvation, failure to assist a person in danger and murder, amongst other charges. Everything with premeditation, of course, and all of these charges alone would cause him jail time and losing his plaque. But, Derek was too respectful of Stiles and the oath he took when he joined the force, so he just couldn't act on his emotions, no matter how tempting giving into them was. But he just couldn't stay quiet and just not do anything about this anymore also.

He'd been thinking about talking to Stiles for a few days now, never finding the courage to bring the horrible subject up in fear of hurting his lover even more by making him reminisce every bad memories all over again. He'd tried finding the solution to his dilemma but after days of torturing his brain with pros and cons, he'd finally concluded he just would have to talk to Stiles and try to make him consider pressing charges and going after that Parrish bastard so justice would be serve and that sorry excuse of a man wouldn't live unpunished any longer. The problem was Derek didn't know how to bring the subject up without his -way too clever for his own good- boyfriend understanding it was some kind of trap and Derek just wouldn't give it up until Parrish was put behind bars. Of course, Derek would never force Stiles into doing anything he didn't feel or wanted to do, he just wanted for Stiles to see and understand his point of view. Make him understand that no matter what, for better or worse, and for the rest of their lives, Derek would always be supportive of any of Stiles' choices, even if it meant going against his beliefs and principles -without talking of his feelings to add in the mix-, he would always go with Stiles' decisions. He just wondered if you could act for the well being of your significant other without them feeling like they were being trapped into doing what you wished them to do. Stiles already had enough of that. And it was because Derek took all of this into consideration that he was unable to sleep or stop himself from being furious when it came to Kyle _fucking_ Parrish.

 

"You're not sleeping again." He heard Stiles' sleepy voice mumble suddenly. "It's been weeks now, Derek, you can't keep on going like that, it's not good for you."

"I know," Derek whispered, tightening his hold on Stiles' body, "I'm sorry I woke you, baby. Go back to sleep, okay, you're getting up early tomorrow."

"So are you." Stiles pointed out, tracing patterns over Derek's right pec, ears pressed to the man chest, the steady rhythm of his heart beating peacefully but yet still quite strongly, a sound Stiles always found to be very soothing. "What's keeping you up, Der? I don't like seeing you so troubled, you can't sleep because of it anymore."

"It's nothing really," Derek reassured him, "I just have a lot in mind lately."

"You're thinking about him again, aren't you? You're trying to find a way to talk to me without upsetting me because you're you, a cop to the core, and you just can't let him go unpunished after what he's done to me, am I right?" Stiles exclaimed softly, still busy caressing Derek's skin.

 

The older man didn't know how to react for a while, he'd thought he'd been discreet, thought his odd behavior lately hadn't affected Stiles but he'd been fooling himself all along it seemed and Stiles had read through him like he would an open book.

 

"It's okay, you know, you did nothing I wouldn't do if the place was switched here, and like I said you're a cop to the core, it was expected you would react this way after learning everything I've been through. In total honestly, I think I was a little scared and was just waiting for you to bring up the subject."

"Then please come to the station and press charges against him? Please, Stiles." Derek suddenly blurted out, the burden on his chest too heavy to bear any longer. "I know you're scared of what he could do to you, I know you feel ashamed having to confess all this, knowing your dad will learn everything but, please, I'm begging you, let me protect you and get justice for you. That bastard deserve to be put behind bars for everything he's put you through."

Stiles kept silent a long moment after Derek's outburst, pressing himself closer to his lover's body. Mind in turmoil, heart racing in his chest, conscious Derek was right, conscious getting justice and closure being what he'd been yearning for for years now but had always been way too scared to act and risk Kyle coming after him, but harder this time, once he'd learned about Stiles' actions.

"I know you're right, and there's a big part of me that wants to say yes, that wants to get revenge and for him to be punished, but I..." The limp in his throat was now so important he could barely speak. "I'm just too scared of what he could do, not just to me but to every people I love...to you." He admitted finally, hand shaking over Derek's chest.

"Hey." Derek exclaimed shifting so he could look into Stiles' eyes. "You don't have to be afraid, you hear me? He will never ever lay a finger on you again, Stiles. If he does I'll break him and he'll have to face not just me, but your father too and every cop in my family and every cop I know that will side with us on this and even land a hand if I ask them to. Trust me, baby, you're safe, I'll keep you safe from him."

"I... Can we talk about this tomorrow? I need to think and I just...I..."

"Of course, there's no rush and you don't have to say yes if you don't feel like to, you have to always keep in mind I will never force into doing anything."

"I know, I know you'll never do such a thing. You're not that kind of man."

"Good then. Go back to sleep, you'll need all your strength to face your mini monsters tomorrow."

"Hmmm..." Stiles whispered, pressing sensual kisses over Derek's skin, going from his chest, all the way up to the man's ear he knew he had very sensitive. "What do you say we make love first, I'm sure it'll help us both sleep better after."

"Your wishes are my command, my handsome lover."

*

 

A few days passed since their late night talk, and Stiles still couldn't shake the thought of Derek's words out of his head. It wasn't like Derek had brought the subject back up in the past few days, no, the man had let it go completely it seemed, leaving Stiles the space he'd promise to give him. And for that Stiles was more than grateful. But at the same time, he didn't know how to act or behave anymore, he felt it was so unsettling to have someone respect him, respect his choices and boundaries like Derek was respecting him. So unsettling that he just _-unconsciously-_ waited for the other shoe to drop anytime now. He knew it was stupid, knew Derek wasn't Kyle and his past relationship was nothing but a very bad memory and that this time it was the real big thing, the really amazing, positive big thing. It was just very hard for him to not let those memories of him and Kyle Parrish cloud his mind and judgment every now and then. He needed sometime alone and silence to be able to understand what it was his heart was trying to tell him, because right now, the message was just too troubled for Stiles to hear it clearly. It's in this state of mind he made his way to his mother's grave after his day was done.

 

"Hi mom. How are you today? I'm sorry I've been so distracted lately and neglected coming to see you, but so much has happened since the last time I paid you a visit. Today is different, though, and there's no one else I could go to talk to." Stiles said softly, changing his mother's dead flowers for a new bouquet he'd brought with him. Sitting cross legged in front of the grave once he was done with the flowers, he took in a deep breath and told her what was weighting on his heart:

 

"I guess I should rewind a bit and take back where I left the story the last time I was here." Thinking of the best way to start this one-sided conversation, Stiles finally settled by explaining everything from the beginning.

 

"So...you remember I told you I wrote a letter to some stranger, right? I know, not my most lucid idea, but it turns out I wouldn't be as happy as I am today with him if I didn't wrote that first letter. I admit I never expected he would answer my letter but he did and... _Oh my god_ , I don't know how, but from the very first moment it seemed like we just clicked, mom.I don't know how to explain everything with exact words, but it's like reading his first words made me feel so alive al of a sudden, so awake and I still had no clue if he was real or if he was some crazy axe murder waiting to know more about me so I could be his next victim. I don't have to tell you dad wasn't too happy to learn I wrote letters to some stranger just out of boredom and misery. You should have seen his face when I told him his new deputy and my pen pal were one and unique person. He flipped, mom! Of course, he's calmed down now. He and Derek, that's his name by the way, they get along so well, especially when it comes to me. It can be pretty scary and unsettling sometimes."

"You know, I'm not blind, I know that dad never really accepted my relationship with Kyle, I know that deep down, even though he kept quiet about it, dad never liked him and never approved of us. But he and I made a pact to never butt into the others romantic life and I guess dad respect me more than I ever imagine he did because he never said anything mean or negative about Kyle while we were together. I'm so grateful for that mom, but I guess, thinking back on things, I would have preferred he'd told me what he truly thought about that jerk and me. Maybe, then, I would have thought about dad's feelings and Kyle and I wouldn't have lasted long enough for him to... Maybe, I would still be clean and complete today, mom." Stiles admitted finally, picking at grass as he talked, silent tears escaping his eyes.

"I'm so scared of what Kyle could do mom. There's no denying that but at the same time, to be really honest, I'm scared of how dad will look at me once he knows everything. The moment he learns there's more I didn't tell him, that I lied all those times telling him everything was just fine, I'm so scared it will crush him, mom. I'm so scared he'll think I didn't trust him enough to confide in him. But I just couldn't, mom. I couldn't bear telling him and having to support his gaze on me once I'd told him everything. Just thinking about it, you have no idea how much that breaks me. But there's Derek in my life now, mom, and I want to keep that man. If I can decide, I would really want to keep him and maybe, with luck, keep him for a lifetime. He's so incredible, so caring and kind. Derek's always so affectionate with me, protective like Kyle never was and he's also so funny and intelligent, if you knew. And, _oh my god_ , mom, I didn't mention how hot he is. And when I say hot it's in all caps. He's like way over sexy. I can't believe my luck to be with such a man. He's even jealous too. That's new for me, having a man who's confident enough, that cares enough about me he's not scared to show the world I'm his and he'll put up a fight to keep me as his. It's sexy as hell, I think. I feel so desired and so wanted with him, mom. I wish you were still here, I would have loved for you and Derek to meet in real life, I'm sure you would have loved him." Stiles lastly said before going silent for a long moment, reflecting on all he'd just told to his mother and everything else floating in his head since he and Derek had talked about Stiles finally pressing charges.

 

Yes, he was scared shitless of how his crazy ex would react but he also feared that if he kept silent any longer and let Kyle get away with it, he would come to hate himself about never having the guts to stand up for himself and pressing charges. He also feared that in the long run this decision of keeping his mouth shut would weight on him and Derek too much which could one day cost him his relationship with the man.

Getting up, he looked at his mother's grave a long moment then told her:

 

"I don't want to live with regrets, in fear of what could happen, mom. I don't want that life anymore. And I also don't want to lose Derek because I was too scared to stand up for myself and get justice for what was done to me. I'm willing to deal with being scared of Kyle and bearing dad's gaze once he'll learn. I'm willing to go through it. I need to go through it if I wanna live my life as a free man with the man I love, I can't let the burden of my past keep me stuck in time and keep me from living my life. That would mean letting Kyle win, and I just can't do that anymore.

“I love you, mom, and I miss you today more than ever, I'll come back with Derek next time, I'd really like for you two to meet." With those last words, Stiles took a deep breath, sure of his decision. He went back to his car and started it, he knew he needed to go the police station now or else he might chicken out.

 

The drive from the cemetery to the police station seemed longer than usual, as if the time it took to travel that distance had suddenly been doubled. Once parked in front of the building, Stiles sat silently in his Jeep, hands shaking over his knees and breath laborious. He could feel cold sweat running down his spine, and the moisture on his skin was also making his glasses slip over the bridge of his nose. Knowing his state would only get worse if he stayed in his car any longer, he decided to shake himself. Turning off the ignition, he climbed out of the car and made his way into the station. He greeted whoever was at the front desk absently and made his way to were Derek's and his dad's offices were. There, Stiles hesitated a second, should he go to his dad directly or trust his lover into taking his deposition? Breathing in and out slowly, Stiles decided he would be more comfortable with Derek. His lover knew almost everything there was to know already and Stiles knew that his dad would learn about the case soon enough, but at least it would still give Stiles a bit of time to mentally prepare himself for the inevitable conversation he'd have to have with his father after he found out.

 

Knocking on Derek's office door, he waited for the man to signal it was okay to come in; a gift from his dad after Derek helped him on the Fisher/Garcia case.

 

"Come in." Stiles heard Derek's voice call from inside. Shaking even more violently now, he forced himself to open the door and cross his lover's eyes,

"Stiles?" Derek exclaimed, surprised to see his lover in his office. "What are you doing here?" He asked a bit worried now that he noticed how pale and about to faint Stiles looked.

"I'm, um... I'm here to make a deposition, officer." Stiles managed to say without breaking down. This was way more difficult than what he'd thought it would ever be and once again he couldn't help but think of Jared and how brave and courageous the teenager had been when Stiles'd brought him in this same police station to tell Stiles' dad his own nightmare.

 

Derek looked at him dumbstruck for a moment and Stiles felt himself shake and sweat more importantly. He felt like he was gonna be sick any minute now. Derek might have gotten that much because he quickly shook himself from his surprise and opened a deposition file on his computer screen and prepare the small recorder on his desk to record Stiles' testimony.

"Alright." He said, shaking his head, detaching himself from Derek, Stiles' boyfriend and letting the cop inside him take control of the situation. “Please, sit down.”

 

"Deputy Derek Hale on record, I will take Mr. Genim Stilinski' deposition. We're Monday, August Sixteenth, two thousand fifteen and it is now ten thirty am. This recording is taking place at the Beacon County police station." Derek stated clearly for the recorder. Then addressed himself directly to Stiles. "Can you please state your name and age for the record?"

Clenching his fists, Stiles nodded before he started speaking:

"My name is Genim _'Stiles'_ Stilinski, I'm twenty five years old."

Derek nodded slowly, his eyes the only thing betraying him from being his cold, compose cop self. Those eyes, Stiles noticed, those eyes just couldn't look at him without tenderness and something very close to love it seemed, and that sight was enough to give him the courage he needed to speak for himself once and for all.

"Can you tell me why you wish to press charges, Mr. Stilinski?"

"I would like to file a complaint against my ex-fiancé, Deputy Kyle Parrish, for domestic abuse and..." Stating those last words out loud were the hardest thing Stiles had ever did, but now that he'd started he just couldn't stop himself from talking anymore. "And for repeated rape on my person."

_There_ _._ He'd said it, everything was now in the open and recorded. He knew it wasn't finish yet, but it felt like the hardest part, admitting out loud to an officer of the law why he was there, had been the hardest thing to do.

"Can you tell me when those events took place, Mr. Stilinski?" Derek asked him then, breaking through Stiles inner reflection. Taking a deep breath, Stiles then started telling everything he'd kept locked inside for years now, afraid of what Kyle Parrish could have done to him if he'd talked when they were still together:

“Throughout the course of our relationship. The verbal and physic abuse started in April two thousand and ten, the rapes about five months later after the first hit, it lasted until the end of our relationship in June two thousand fourteen.”

 

After he was done telling Derek everything and that the man had read over his deposition out loud, Derek asked him to sign the printed papers of the deposition and to wait in the office while he was going to see the sheriff.

That little word, _sheriff..._ T hat little word is what started the panic attack. He tried calming down, tried breathing in and out slowly before his dad and boyfriend came back into the office to witness what state he was in but when he heard the door open and heard his dad voice say his name in _that_ way, everything just suddenly turned to dark and Stiles felt himself black out.

*

 

_Warmth_ . A feathery touch. Bright light s and whispered conversation s woke him up slowly. _Where was he? What had happened? Who were those people talking around him?_

 

"Looks like he's waking up." He heard someone say. _Derek?_

"Stiles? Hey, can you hear me?" Yes. Yes, this was definitely his boyfriend talking, and the fingers caressing his palm, that touch could only be Derek's too. "Baby?"

"Hmm..." He tried to articulate but the raging migraine breaking his head was making it difficult for him to form a correct sentence or move a limb for that matter. "W-where? What..?"

If only he could know where he was and what had happened.

"You're at the hospital, Stiles. You came to the police station and made a deposition, you remember?" Derek explained softly, still caressing his hand and his eyes boring into Stiles. They were filled with so much worry that Stiles felt guilty for being responsible for that.

Acting against his body's protest, he nodded shortly, pain cutting through his head harder than before as he did so.

 

"Do you remember why you filed a complaint?" Derek asked him softly.

Silent a moment, Stiles then articulated:

"K-Kyle...rape." There suddenly was a deep intake of breath on his left which made him turn his head abruptly making the migraine double in pain. "Dad..." He whispered, scared, then images of himself having a panic attack, then hearing his dad saying his name before he blacked out flooded his head and Stiles remembered everything with clarity. Unable to control it, he felt his body starting to shake violently as he looked at his dad, and repeated over and over:

 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, dad. I'm sorry."

"Son," he heard, and then,

"Okay, that’s enough. He's been through too much already." Melissa? So, he was at the hospital. "I'm giving him a sedative, he needs rest and quiet."Then she turned her attention toward him and asked, “is there anywhere you feel pain, sweetie?”

“M' head.” Stiles croaked, pain distorting his traits, “light's too bright.”

“Seems like a migraine, I'm giving you a pain killer with the sedative, alright.” Melissa explained in a very soft voice.

"Can I stay with him, please?" Stiles vaguely heard Derek say, the sedative and painkillers already kicking in.

"Until visiting hours are over. John, can we talk outside?"

"Yeah." John answered, looking worriedly at his son.

"Don't worry, Derek is staying with him, he won't be alone."

"I know."

"Alright, then come, there's something you need to see."

*

 

Derek watched has both Melissa and Stiles' dad got out of the room. Then turned his attention back to his lover's pale figure.

Stiles looked so exhausted, so young in that instant and yet traces of everything he'd been through had left its marks on his beautiful face.

 

"I'm gonna cherish you.” He whispered softly, “I'll try making everything possible for you to be happy, even the craziest things. I promise you he's gonna pay for everything he did to you, baby." He added softly, kissing Stiles' right palm.

"I will love you so much and so entirely, Stiles. I promise I'll try my best to make you smile everyday and make you forget everything about him just like you once asked me. I love you. I love you so damn much, Stiles." Derek admitted softly, knowing in his heart that he wouldn't ever be able to let this amazing man go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Guess what......................chap three is on the way!**   
>  **Comment and kudos, please.**


	3. The Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hey you guys, I'm soooo sorry it took so much time posting this chapter, but truth is with work and my life on the side I've been lazy to do any correcting/editing on it until today. But that's not the case anymore as you can see.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Enjoy your read and I'll see you, guys, next time.**
> 
>  
> 
> **xoxo**  
>  **Sin.**

From there, everything just happened so quickly. A breathtaking turmoil Stiles never thought he would find himself in one day.

 

After a few days under observation at the hospital, his blood samples had shown signs of anemia and exhaustion, but the doctor who'd tended to his case still decided to keep him in observations a few more days.

Those few days weren't the least relaxing however. After Melissa was informed of what had caused Stiles panic attack, she had to talk to John about some of Stiles old injuries she'd found suspicious back at the time. After seeing the X-rays and getting confirmation from Stiles' doctor that what he was looking at were indeed proofs of abusive injuries, John asked that his son tell him everything about the abuse and violence he'd been the victim of.

 

Sedated enough to not go through another violent panic attack, Stiles didn't object in telling his dad everything.This is how he admitted that the two times he'd gotten broken bones weren't because he'd fallen like Stiles had told him while he was still with Kyle, but that his broken right arm and second and middle left hand's broken fingers, had been the result of his ex-fiancé extremely violent hits.

Explaining those injuries to his dad had been like opening a flood gate, and Stiles hadn't been able then to stop himself from telling his father everything. Stiles felt he couldn't stop there; he needed to let out everything he'd kept in for so long. Everything he'd been too afraid to tell his dad, all the abuse, all the sorrow and pain, all the hurt he'd been the victim of, he told his dad everything, conscious he wouldn't be able to have this talk again and again with the man if he only told him part of it that day. So he told his dad everything, not forgetting any little details he remembered clearly and that he knew would be important to help with his case.

And by the end of their talk, Stiles felt drained and exhausted, drained like he'd never felt before. Going through all those nightmares again, seeing the images, hearing the sounds and feeling all he'd felt at the time it'd happened and also having to watch as a part of his dad broke the more he learned about what his son had been through was just too much. Too much that Stiles knew he and his dad wouldn't get out of this conversation unscathed.

 

“I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth, dad. I just... I just didn't know how to and I didn't want to disappoint you. I was so ashamed and so scared, that it was easier to let you believe I was doing fine than having to tell you that my life was a complete failure with that man.”

“How could you think that, Stiles? How could you think I would be disappointed in you for something you didn't ask for and that was done to you against your will, son? I swear to god if the court of law doesn't give him the maximum penalty I'll kill that bastard with my bare hands.” John growled angrily, fists shaking with rage over his knees.

“Dad, please...” Stiles croaked, grabbing his father's nearest hand, he was suddenly very scared his dad would put his threat to execution if they didn't get justice for had happened. “Please don't do anything stupid. Let the court handle him, don't...don't...” He'd never seen his father in such an advance state of blind rage, and Stiles was unable to keep himself from shaking violently. That sight of his dad and the few difficult breaths he tried taking next were enough to tear his dad from his plotting and divert his full attention on his son.

“Stiles.” He heard his dad exclaimed, “I'm sorry, son. Calm down, alright, calm down. Just try breathing slowly.” John said, trying to soothe Stiles enough to prevent him from having yet another attack. And after long minutes of talking is son out of his attack, Stiles finally started to calm down.

Seeing how exhausted Stiles was, John helped him lay back down, “Get some rest, okay. I'm gonna go see Melissa, I'll come back tonight. I'll ask Derek to come stay with you. I Love you, son.”

“Love you too, dad.” Stiles mumbled sleepily before closing his eyes.

 

John took a few more minutes to look at his son. Rage still ate at him but he knew that for Stiles' well being he shouldn't act on his feelings when it came to Kyle Parrish. Him killing the asshole wouldn't serve any of them positively, and it would only cause his son even more stress and guilt, he was also sure Laura would have his balls if he ended up in jail.

*

 

 

Two days after the long talk he had with his dad, Stiles was what you can call more than surprised to see Derek entered his hospital room with his mother in toe;

 

“Talia?” Stiles exclaimed, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you, of course. There's no way I could have stayed home after Derek called me. Now, is that how you greet your future mother-in-law?” The woman said, smiling warmly as she came to the bed.

 

Stiles couldn't help but blush furiously after she referred to herself as his future mother-in-law, he suddenly felt too shy to look over at Derek, somehow fearing that what he would see in his boyfriend's eyes would deny what his mother had just claimed to be or of one day becoming, and Stiles knew it would only crush all his growing hopes for their relationship if it was denial or else he read in Derek's eyes.

 

“Sorry.” He mumbled sheepishly as he returned Talia's hug. “Hi, I'm so glad to see you. How are you? Is Caleb here with you too?” Stiles asked, glancing at the door.

“Yes, but he went to see your dad, he thought it would be too much people around you already. He says _'Hi'_ , though, and will stop by later to see you.”

“Okay.” Stiles nodded. “Huh? Too much people?” He asked, unsure of what Talia meant by that when she was the only one that'd came in with Derek to see him apparently.

“Someone's waiting in the hallway and they're very impatient to see you.” Talia told him.

“Who?” Stiles asked before he heard Derek tell whoever was in the hallway it was okay to come in now.

“Hey, stranger.” A warm voice said,

“JARED!” Stiles exclaimed, joy bursting inside him as he met the teenager's eyes. “But...what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in Berkeley? Isn't it like mid-terms already or something?”

“Or something,” Jared shrugged. “I took a sabbatical.” He said, shaking his head, “I've been back home for the past month now. When I heard mom and dad were coming to Beacon Hills, I packed my things and took the plane with them. I really missed you.” The teen explained as he stopped right next to the bed.

Stiles felt himself filled with all kinds of emotions to know that these people had traveled all the way from Oregon just to come see him. “I've missed you too, baby bro”. He said engulfing Jared in a bear hug.

 

“Derek called us last night, said you needed a kickass lawyer, asked if I would be willing to take on your case as he was forbid by law to investigate it himself. Of course, I agreed. We landed a few hours ago, Cora came to take us from the airport and drove us back to the house. Jared and I came here as soon as we were fresh and fed.” Talia then told him.

Extremely touched, Stiles couldn't help but turn to his lover, emotions striking his face as he asked the man, “You did this for me?”

Derek seemed surprised Stiles would even ask such a question, as if it wasn't clear enough for his lover that of course he would do something like that for him.

“Of course. I would do anything for you. Mom is the best and I thought Jared could change your mind from things, bring you extra moral support.”

“Thank you.” Stiles, whispered. “Thank you, Derek.”

“Hey...it's only normal. Don't cry, it's okay now.”

“I know. I'm sorry. Thank you.” Stiles mumbled, shakily drying his tears, “god, I feel so tired of crying these days, it's like it won't ever stop. I feel more emotional than some hormonal teen.”

“HEY!” Jared exclaimed, “thank you for the teen in the room.” he said, faking being offended by Stiles' remark.

“Sorry...” The young man said, clearly not feeling sorry at all.

 

Derek felt his heart beat quicken as he witnessed Stiles smile for the first time in a very long time it seemed, even though it'd only been a few days since the younger man had been brought into the hospital. Catching his lover's gaze he couldn't help but smile in return when he saw him whisper another thank you over Jared's shoulder. The next gaze he caught was his mother's and Derek read by the look on her face that she already knew everything he'd been thinking deep down for a little while now. Apparently, even at twenty nine there was still nothing he could hide from her. Not even thinking of proposing to Stiles.

*

 

Later that day, long after the visiting hours ended, Stiles heard the familiar light knocks Derek had adopted after Stiles had been brought to the hospital. Stiles guessed it was so the man wouldn't wake him up if Stiles had fallen asleep. It was another caring action from his lover that touched Stiles more than he'd thought something so small, so insignificant could ever do.

 

"I'm still awake." He said a bit louder than usual to inform Derek it was okay to come in. It was funny how quickly they'd established these things, like talking in codes or having eye conversations.

"Hey." Derek softly said as he came into the room, closing the door silently behind him. "How are you feeling?"

"Still fudging tired." Stiles sighed, "I'm, actually, tired of being tired."

"It's only normal you feel this way, baby. You've so been stressed out and you carried so much on your shoulders for so long. I'm not surprised you're suffering from exhaustion, and I also know you've been sleeping badly since we had that talk." Derek told Stiles, as he sat in the chair next to the bed. Grabbing his hand, Stiles exclaimed;

"I've only been sleeping badly because I knew you were right and that you'd just voiced what I wanted to do for so long. I'm glad we talked, Derek, it was necessary we did."

"I still feel like if you're here it's partly because of me." Derek softly admitted.

"Hey, no, don't think that. I'm here because I've been neglecting myself for a long time now, because my last relationship fucked me up so bad in every possible way and because with my astonishing luck I managed to get a start of anemia. Don't ever think you're in any way responsible for me being here, Derek. You're actually the one truly good thing that's happened in my life when I least expected it but needed it the most."

 

To that, Derek kissed him passionately. A kiss Stiles was eager to give the man back. He felt like since he gotten into the hospital, physical demonstrations of affection between them had been, somehow, forbidden.

 

"Hmmm..." Stiles purred before whispering, gaze locked with Derek's, "I still can't believe you asked your mom to represent me."

"Well, of course I would ask her. After all there's nothing I wouldn't do for the man I love."

"The man you _what_?" Stiles mumbled, surprised. Did he really hear what Derek had just said? "Derek?" He asked, unsure if he could believe his ears.

"You heard me just fine. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you because I love you. I am madly in love with you, Genim Stilinski, and I've been biting my tongue not to tell you for too long now."

So he'd heard right, Stiles thought, and the craziest thing was he could see in Derek's eyes how profoundly sincere his lover was when he said he was in love with him... _Stiles!_ This incredible man was in love with him, the small town elementary school teacher. This was so...crazy and yet so amazing too that Stiles felt dizzy after his heart swell dangerously with joy and love for the man sitting next to him in that too far away chair.

"Come here," Stiles said, grabbing Derek's shirt and pulling him over himself on the bed so that he could passionately kiss the older man. Panting, heartbeat racing, and with a smile that could lit the room, Stiles whispered, "fuck, I'm so in love with you too, Derek Hale."

"You are?"

"Why so surprised? I've been head over heels for you for a very long time now. I think I really fell in love with you at that barbecue, I was already crushing on you but that day, that moment in the kitchen, it's when I realized and yeah, I love you, I really do."

"Baby..." Derek said, out of breath.

Stiles couldn't help but return Derek's bright smile. He was still blown away that the he man loves had confessed to feeling the same way and was now looking at him like he was the eighth world's most beautiful wonder. God, he was so gone for this man. So far away it would be the same as a Shakespearean tragedy if their story ever ended. He hope it wouldn't, _ever_. But you could never be completely sure of such things in life.

 

"I've missed you so much these past few days." Derek softly confessed, busy stroking Stiles' hair, a habit he'd taken just after their first time and hadn't abandoned since. Not that Stiles was complaining, of course. On the contrary, it was like he couldn't get enough of Derek's tokens of affection.

"Then take me home!" Stiles said, looking serious.

"What? Now?" Derek asked, taken aback.

"Yes. Now! I'm fed up of this hospital bed, I hate hospitals in the first place. I wanna go home and rest somewhere I know I'll be able to and I miss you like crazy, Derek. I wanna go home and be with you and forget everything else. I want to be just the two of us....and Bruce."

"And Bruce, huh." Derek joked, poking Stiles' cheek playfully.

"What? I miss my baby, I don't even know if anyone thought of going to see if he had enough food and water. I'm sure he's miserable without me too."

"I went to your place every day to change his water, feed him and cuddle him. He _is_ miserable without you."

"See!" Stiles exclaimed, feeling weirdly guilty he'd abandoned his kitty for so long. "Will you take me home then, please?"

"I don't know if now is okay, what about your drip and the anemia, isn't it risky to just like go home like this without you seeing the doctor first?"

"I don't know. And I honestly don't care. I just really wanna go home with you tonight and be with you and not have to watch you leave without me. I know I'm acting like a spoiled brat but being here really is playing on my nerves." Stiles admitted, blushing like a school boy after everything he's just said.

"You're not. I get how you feel. I'm going to see Melissa and I'll be right back, okay."

"Thank you."

 

Derek smiled and kissed him one last time before leaving the room in search of their favorite nurse. Stiles sighed deeply and looked at the ceiling yet another time. God, he was seriously getting sick of the color white. He couldn't wait to get out of this sterile place and tuck himself in Derek's bed, the man's arms holding him safely, allowing him to breathe more freely and finally rest like he was supposed to.

*

 

Maybe ten minutes later, Stiles was awoken from the slight slumber he'd dozed off in by Derek when the man came back into the room.

 

"Hey sleepyhead... Time to wake up."

"Hmm...Der?" Stiles mumbled sleepily, ready to fall back asleep any minute.

"Yeah, we're going home, baby." Derek told him softly, moving around to pack Stiles' belongings into his duffel bag. "Okay, I've got all your things packed. Do you think you're awake enough to put on your shoes and jacket?"

"Hn...no. Too much work." Stiles answered, getting up to slip on his leather flip flops. He then put on his cardigan and yawned soundly behind his left hand. "Sorry." He said, blushing a little.

Derek just smiled, looking moved by his boyfriend cuteness. He was about to tell Stiles as much when Melissa came into the room.

 

"Already up, I see. You're really eager to go home, sweetheart."

"You have no idea." Stiles mumbled, giving her a smile. "I just really need my bed and my pillow and...my man."

Looking over at Derek quickly, Melissa said with a fake whisper:

"I can only understand you on that last one, I would be eager to go home too."

Stiles snorted, this was why he'd always loved the woman.

 

"Okay, honey, you're free to go home but first let me take off your drip. I already gave Derek all the papers you'll need once you're out but you'll still have to come back once a week for your treatment. Other than that you're still on bed rest. Dr. Kimura insists on you sleeping a lot." Looking at Derek, she insisted, "watch out for him, okay. I know him and how he won't follow his doctor's orders. He needs to rest a maximum for the next two to three days at least."

"Alright, alright, mom, I'll do as you say, I promise." Stiles said, cringing when he saw the needle being taken out of his hand. He always hated needles, a good thing he'd been out cold when they put the thing inside his hand.

"Don't be a little shit with me, Stiles Stilinski. Now, go. Off to bed. Derek I'm trusting you with him. I'll have your balls if I learn he didn't follow his orders and treatment."

"Don't worry, ma'am, I'll keep an eye on him and I'll make sure my family does too when I'm at work."

"Great. You all have formed a coalition, now." Stiles sarcastically sighed. He heard both Melissa and Derek and knew if both of them agreed on his health then he was gonna have to face not just one worried nurse but his worried boyfriend too every time he'll whimper.

 

"Thank you for everything, ma'am." Derek said, shaking Melissa's hand.

"It's Melissa, Hun. And Stiles knows, I'll do anything for my boys."

Smiling, Stiles gave the woman a hug and a big kiss on the cheek, then followed Derek out of the room, yawning.

"Do you want me to get a wheelchair?"

"No, I can walk to your car. I'm not handicapped, just tired."

 

Half an hour later, Stiles woke up slightly as he felt Derek lay him down on his bed, taking off his clothes as he always got way too hot when they slept together. Then, Stiles felt the bed shift next to him, a pair of strong arms held him closely and a light weight settled on his feet. Sighing, he couldn't help but smile before drifting into a very deep, undisturbed sleep. He was home and Derek had apparently thought of stopping by his place to take Bruce with them at the Hale House, what a sweetheart!

*

 

The knocks on the door were very short and sounded loudly in the house. Ennis being upstairs, Kyle went to answer the door himself. He was surprised when he saw the two police officers standing on his porch, a very stern look on their faces.

 

“Kyle Parrish?” One of them asked shortly.

“Yeah, that’s me.” Kyle answered suspiciously wondering what all this meant.

“You're under arrest for domestic abuse and repeated sexual assault on the person of Genim Stilinski.” The man informed abruptly, as his colleague stepped up to grab Kyle's right arm and oblige him to turn around. Pressing him against the door the officer handcuffed him while the first one read him his Miranda rights;

 

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.”

“Kyle? What's going on? What are you doing?” He heard Ennis exclaimed suddenly as he ran down the stairs and rush behind him and the two cops. “Wait, you can't take him like this. Kyle, what's going on here?”

“Sir, please, step out of the way.” The first officer said to Ennis in a gruff voice.

“Not before you tell me where you're taking my husband.” Ennis exclaimed, mortified and pissed off by that officer that just wouldn't stop walking and was now forcing his husband into back seat of the cruiser parked in front of their house.

“Call my lawyer, okay. He'll know what to do.” Kyle told him through the car's window.

 

Ennis watched, appalled, as the two officers climbed into the Beacon County cruiser and drove away with his husband handcuffed and isolated on the back seat of the SUV. _What was going on? Why were they taking Kyle? What the fuck happened?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **The new cover will be next and coming up tomorrow.**


	4. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hey there everyone, how are you?**   
>  **I'm so sorry it took me much time to post this chapter even though it was written a long time ago and edited to, but one thing leading to another, my computer died on me so i had to to buy a new one and now i can finally post.**
> 
> **I hope you'll enjoy this short i know but nonetheless new chapter.**

"No . Derek, I swear to god if I have to stay in bed one more day I'm gonna strangle someone. And I fucking don't care what Dr. Kimura said. Now, get out of the way, I'm starving and I need breakfast." Stiles growled,  clutching Bruce in his arms and giving his boyfriend  _ ‘the look’ _ .

"Babe..."

"Don't  _'babe'_ me, I'm a twenty five year old man, I know if I feel fine or not to get out of bed and wonder around your gigantic house. I'm serious, back off or I'll scream for help and you know how Cora and Jared can be  or maybe I should call for Laura and your mother instead."

"Okay, okay, I'm backing off, no need to make threats." Derek exclaimed, surrendering to Stiles' wishes. "But you're not getting out of here without an explanation." He added, dead serious.

"Oh  god, what now?" Stiles sighed, wondering when he'll be able to finally have breakfast.

"Yeah, you're in trouble..." Derek said,  eyebrows raised.

"Explain yourself so that I can go eat, please." Stiles sarcastically said.

"Twenty five, Stiles. When the fuck was your birthday? Why didn't you tell me anything? I'm hurt."

"Oh!"

"Yeah  _'oh'_ ." Derek repeated. "So...when was it and why didn't you tell me?"

"In August. The twenty first. You were in Oregon that week. It's no big deal."

"No big deal" Derek said before storming out of the bedroom, almost walking into a speechless Cora.

 

"The heck's wrong with him? Is he on his period that he looks so pissed?" The girl asked a dumbstruck Stiles.

"What did I say?" He asked his cat.

Bruce  meowed soundly , in a way that seemed to tell Stiles  _"You brought this on yourself_ _,_ _human!!!",_ and  then jumped out of his master's arms to follow in Derek's direction.

"Seriously?" Stiles blurted, turning toward Cora, the girl was throwing  him one of her observation  looks , the one that you couldn't tell if they meant you  annoyed her or  if  she was having a very deep internal monologue probably about you and the situation you'd stuck yourself into.

 

"Uhm..." Cora started, "seems like you said something to throw Der-bear  off , and there's really not that too many things that could put his knickers in a twist like that. So what was it?  T hat  way we can move on to what I was coming to see you for." She exclaimed in the same constant bored tone.

Stiles blushed slightly, he loved Cora but sometimes she had a way of unsettling him  like no one else could. Sighing, he finally said;

"The heck do I know, I told him my birthday was August twenty first and he suddenly got mad."

"Wait a sec..." Cora exclaimed holding her hand out, "it was your birthday and you didn't tell anyone? Especially Derek?"

"No, I didn't. So what? It's just a birthday."

" _It's just a birthday_ , he s ays ." Cora replied mockingly. "Seriously, and you're a teacher! It never occurred to you that, I don't know, Derek being your boyfriend he would have like to know and have the opportunity spoil you silly for the occasion? How dumb can you be, Stiles?"

"What?" Stiles cried out, getting angrier by the minute. "It's not like my fucking ex ever celebrated birthday s , let alone wished it to me. I just assumed it wouldn't be that big of deal if Derek didn't knew about it, it's not like I would have expected anything if he knew."

"Well you assumed wrong, Derek isn't your fucking ex. And it's  about  fucking time you realize it before you truly hurt him, Stiles."

Taken aback, Stiles took in Cora's words as violently as if she'd slapped him across the face.

"Seriously, take your head out of your butt and go apologize to him."

"But..."  h e tried to argue ,

"No but, go! Man, how can you be so dense sometimes?" Cora sighed, opening the door and motioning to Stiles which way to go. "Show him you love  him and have consideration for him , won't you."

 

Squaring his shoulders, Stiles went after Derek silently. His  brain going into  overdrive as a thousand thoughts invad ed his mind all at once . Cora was right, he noticed with shock. It's true he'd been keeping things to himself or just avoiding telling Derek because he was sure it wouldn't matter anyway, that things like his birthday were just any other day in the year  for him now . He'd been so used to keeping things, to not bringing them in the conversation with Kyle that it'd became a habit to just shut up about them, to not expect anything as if he did he'd always end up disappointed anyway. He realized now how wrong he'd been to assume it would be the same with Derek, how wrong he'd  been to even think that because they were both men they would  never celebrate the way straight or lesbian couples do. He was so wronged about so many things, so full of stereotypes when this wasn't how his parents and then his dad alone had raised him. It was damn time he changed those things about him. It was damn time he start living this relationship with Derek as unique and not let his past fuck up what was the best thing  to  ever happen to him.

*

 

He found his lover standing by the double door window in the kitchen, a steaming mug  clasped in his hand s , creating a smoky halo around his broad shoulders. Stiles took a moment to appreciate Derek's backside, going from his finger brushed hair, that'd grown a lot lately, to  the wife  beater he was wearing  and  his strong shoulders, passing by his narrow waist and round but hard bottom and finishing his course to his bare  feet .  _God_ , he thought, even from behind Derek was the most attractive man he'd met in his life and he still couldn't believe that this man was his. Just  _his_ .

 

Sometimes Stiles couldn't go over the shock of having someone so beautiful, so caring and attentive sharing his life, he couldn't fully believe that it wouldn't all crash and burn one day. If only he could be more positive, more optimistic about his love life then maybe he wouldn't drag all those fears around like chains around his feet.

 

Breathing in slowly, Stiles walked the last steps separating him from Derek and wrapped his arms around his lover's waist, holding on to him tightly :

 

"I'm sorry." He whispered, burying his nose into the fabric of Derek's  tank top . "I should have t old you, I just didn't  think ..." He tried explaining, but failing  to the find the right words and keeping his heartbeat steady. Derek might have felt his distress because he turned around, his hazel eyes gazing into Stiles' whiskey orbs.

"I'm not Kyle, Stiles."

"I know. I know you aren't. I know you would never treat me like he did. It's just... I just..." Like always when he felt anxious, Stiles started twisting his fingers, focusing on them instead of having to look at Derek's too bright eyes. "I don't act this way on purpose, Derek. God only knows you're the last person I'd ever wanna hurt. But this way of being, of thinking, is imprinted in me like it's a perfectly normal behavior. I never knew anything else and I guess protecting myself, keeping things silent have become like a second nature, and I don't always realize how much I'm hurting you."

 

He heard Derek sigh a little and then go around him to put his coffee mug on the counter.

 

"Stiles, I," the older man started, searching for the right words and trying to keep an even tone not to push his lover, "I get trusting me was the hardest thing for you, I get that you're still working on it and on a lot of other things. I know that with all that's been happening lately you would feel smothered, and I'm sorry if it's the case, I'm just trying to protect you, to love you and care for you the best that I can. I have no pointer here, no real past relationship to rely on that would tell me if what I do is wrong or right. I'm also trying to be the most honest with you, to tell you everything, show you all of me when sometimes it really isn't that easy but you...you keep on keeping the most insignificant things from me, not consciously or on purpose I know but it still hurt when I learn that it was my man's birthday and I didn't even knew about it. It should have been one of those special days we could have  spent together and mark it as important instead we don't even have a memory of your first birthday with us being together. I'm sorry if I'm might seem picky about these things but,"

"You don't. You're not picky, Derek. I'm sorry, I really am so sorry I kept this from you." Stiles spoke, coming closer.

"I come from a big family, these are the things we would always celebrate because to us those are very important days, of course it would extend to our significant others."

"I get it." Stiles nodded, placing his arms around Derek's slowly, pressing himself against his lover's side tenderly. His forehead pressed against Derek's strong shoulder he started speaking softly.

"After my mom died, birthdays, Christmases and every celebrations like that stopped being important for dad and I, yes we would greet each other happy birthday or merry Christmas, but it lost the meaning it used to hold when mom was still alive and then I met Kyle and those little things stop existing completely. I guessed I've been so used to it that I found  them pointless too. But I'm willing to learn a new way...with you!"

"I love you." Derek whispered gently, lifting Stiles's chin so they could look into each other's eyes.

"I know you do, and I love you too."

"Then, starting today don't hold anything from me, no matter how small or insignificant you think it is. Hell, write it to me if you don't know how to tell me."

"I will. I promise." Stiles said, blushing slightly. His heart racing as he lost himself into amazing hazel eyes.

Derek didn't say anything else, just bent down a little to catch Stiles's lips into a deep kiss, barely aware of Bruce rubbing himself against his shins.

*

 

A few days later, when he got home from a very long night shift, Derek made to his  way to his bedroom like a zombie, his only wish being catching some hours of sleep and calling Stiles before going in into the station to start his third night shift of the week. What wasn't his surprise when after a quick shower and slipping into his bed naked he felt paper under his pillow. Curious, he lifted the pillow slightly and found a bright blue enveloped waiting for him with just his name written in Stiles's neat handwriting on the front of the envelope. Lying back down he opened the epistle with excited fingers, it's been a very long time since he last received a letter from Stiles, the last one being after the Policemen's Ball.

* * *

 

_**Hey Baby,** _

 

_**How are you? It feels like it's be** _ _**en** _ _**so long since we've been together this week. I'm missing you so much, I'm silently cursing my** _ _**dad for** _ _**making you work so many night shifts as we barely have time seeing each other with both our jobs. It sucks.... BIG TIME!** _

 

_**I know we** _ _**haven’t** _ _**broached the subject since our talk but I wanted you to know I did lot of thinking since then. I'm sorry I acted like I did with you, it was unfair to you. You were right in all you said and I do get where you're coming from too. I do understand it is just as hard for you as it is for me to trust someone completely and so intimately. I wanna change that, wanna change my behavior and be a better boyfriend for you, so I work** _ _**ed** _ _**a little and made a list of all the important dates in my life them either being holidays or events that truly marked my life until today, some of those dates aren't happy ones but I feel you should know about those too.** _

 

_**I won't ask you to do the same, but if you ever want to share some of your dates with me then I'll be so happy to share them with you.** _

 

_**I maybe don't say this enough but I love you so much, Derek. To the point it's really scaring most days. To the point it takes my breath away when I realize just how strong my love is for you and how it doesn't seem to stay as it is but keeps on growing stronger every new day we're together. I sometimes fear that one day this love I have for you, this love that keeps me paralyzed when you** _ _**are** _ _**not with me, I fear this love will consume me and just leave ashes behind. And knowing that I hurt you...you have no idea how deeply that scarred me, Derek.** _

_**You can't even begin to understand how many times I wished I was different, how many** _ _**times** _ _**I begged and hoped I wouldn't be so damaged. I wish I could** _ _**do** _ _**something else, that you wouldn't have to deal with everything that's happen** _ _**ed** _ _**lately, I wish I'd never had to tell you what I really went through with Kyle Parrish. I know you don't and never held me responsible for my past but you have no idea how I wish none of it ever happened to me. It took meeting you for those regrets I have to become a hell lot present. I'm battling against them** _ _**every da** _ _**y, trying to make them go away but there still there no matter what. I'm** _ _**wanting** _ _**be so worthy of you, Derek, that sometimes I just don't how I can truly be.** _

_**I know this is stupid thinking, feeling like that, that you love me no matter what. But I can't help how I feel.** _

_**I felt this is something I needed to tell you, I just didn't know how to otherwise than by writing everything down.** _

 

_**I know you're probably reading this after your shift so I'll keep it at that you need your sleep my love. I hope to see you soon. Be careful on the job, okay.** _

 

_**Love you,** _

_**Your own personal 'Teach'.** _

* * *

 

_Damn,_ Derek thought, was it possible to love someone even more than how you already did, which was above everything he'd ever felt for anyone before. Folding the letter and placing it back into its envelope, Derek replaced it under  his pillow making a note to himself to write one la t er when he'd woken up. Right now, he did just as Stiles told him to and went to sleep with no effort, being wrapped in arms in less time it take to say it out loud.

 

**Author's Note:**

> **So, how did you find this chapter?  
> **   
>  **Like it? Or not?**   
>  **Please leave a comment to let me know. Kudos are also gladly appreciated. :-)**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  **My tumblr** : [theshiwolf](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)


End file.
